couple watching sport at home

My recent blog on how guys can avoid missing vital games garnered positive feedback, including, surprisingly, from females. As such, with Toronto F.C. hosting Liverpool at the Skydome and the Blue Jays in Boston to take on the Red Sox, who better to get further advice from than women themselves.*

This is pretty much the closest any of us guys will ever get to being like Mel Gibson. What? No, not anti-semitic! What’s wrong with you?! I mean that film ‘What Women Want’ when he can read women’s minds’. Damn, this is awkward now. Let’s just move on:

1) One key tip is to plan well in advance to stop suspicions being aroused.  This includes fixing that plug socket she’s been nagging you about for six months (in fact doing any D.I.Y. in general) and making them a cup of coffee or doing the washing up without being asked.

2) Sometimes, you may have to resort to drastic measures, including…….I hope you’re sitting down…………doing the ironing. However, this comes with major risks:  She may accuse you of having an affair but even worse, once she knows you can use the iron, there’ll be no excuse to get out of doing it more regularly.

3) Another common response included a mix of buying your lady the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, giving them a massage, getting them some naughty lingerie or actually having sex with them.  It’s always reassuring to hear women are basically as horny as men.

4)  If all else fails and you’re absolutely desperate, you could always invite your woman to the game as a last resort.  Girls love to drink, people-watch and talk, so this covers all bases, giving them a chance to critique people’s outfits and the athletes’ derrieres.  But be prepared to buy them a White Wine Spritzer rather than an economy sized beer. Also be on auto-nod with the occasional fake-interested comment when she starts chatting to you.

I hope these additional tips help although I’m weary there’s a conspiracy afoot amongst the girls to just get us to do what they want on a regular basis. (Something tells me this won’t be the last installment.)

* I big thank you to Candice, Tiffany, Amber, Brittany and Chantelle who I enlisted to help write this piece. (Names changed to protect real identities from partners but more importantly, make it sound like I know several lap-dancers).

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