groupies

We consider ourselves a conscientious bunch here at Blue Toro. As such, whether you’re an athlete or not, we felt it was our job, nay, our DUTY, to do some ‘in-depth’ research and give men an idea of what to expect if you have a daughter.

(Don’t get me wrong, if I have a child and it’s a girl, I will love her just as much as a boy. However, that doesn’t mean I’m not rooting for a son, purely in the interests of a slightly easier life.)

1) A son has more chance of becoming a professional athlete, in turn meaning better odds they make decent money and ensure you don’t end up in some crappy retirement home.

2) They don’t become conscious about their appearance as early, meaning less time spent being dragged around the mall buying clothes, shoes, make-up and paying for haircuts.

3) Furthermore, they won’t be fooled by all those airbrushed pictures of models in women’s magazines which invariably lead to some form of eating disorder.

4) They’re less likely to get pregnant at 16 and make you the youngest grandparent in your neighbourhood.

5) If you have a daughter, they could become a stripper or lap-dancer, or even worse end up starring in adverts like this:

6) When you’re a professional athlete, particularly a famous one, you’ve likely had your pick of women throwing themselves at you. You worry your daughter could become one of those brazen hussies.

7) By extension, you fear being in the locker-room when one of the single players is showing teammates pictures of the groupie they hooked up with the night before. And finding out it’s your daughter, who told you she was staying over at her friend’s house to ‘study’.

8 ) And finally, THIS is less likely to happen. (Sorry Wayne):

paulina gretzky swimming pool

PHOTO CREDITS: BALLER ALERT & COMPLEX MAGAZINE


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